In Praise of Slow Sex: Embracing Intimacy, Connection, and Sensuality in the Bedroom

As a sex therapist, I often meet clients who feel pressured to have quick and intense sexual experiences, leaving little room for them to experience the intimacy and connection they desire. This pressure can come from different sources like the media, porn, societal expectations, and personal beliefs about what constitutes good sex. However, the good news is that an increasing number of people are discovering the many benefits of slowing down and embracing what’s called slow sex.

Slow sex is a sexual approach that prioritizes intimacy, pleasure, and connection over performance and outcome. It involves intentionally slowing down sexual activity, enjoying every moment and sensation, and being fully present with your partner.  It includes kissing, touching, oral sex, and intercourse and is suitable for people of all sexual orientations and gender identities.

Here are some of the most significant benefits:

1. Enhanced intimacy: By slowing down and focusing on connection, slow sex can help individuals and couples build trust and emotional bonds, leading to more satisfying sexual experiences.

2. Greater pleasure: Savouring every sensation and moment can enhance pleasure and increase orgasmic potential. Slow sex can help people become more aware of their bodies and their partner’s body. This means your body remains longer in the state of arousal without jumping to orgasm, resulting in full-bodied pleasure and orgasm. 

3. Reduced pressure: Slow sex is all about enjoying each moment rather than achieving a particular outcome. This can help lessen the burden of performance anxiety and allow individuals to relax and enjoy the experience.

4. Improved communication: Slow sex requires partner communication to ensure comfort and enjoyment. This practice can enhance communication skills both in and outside of the bedroom.

5. Amplified sensuality: Slowing down sex allows time to focus on the senses, like touch, taste, and scent. This can enhance the overall sexual experience, making it more pleasurable and fulfilling.

If you’re interested in trying slow sex, here are some tips to get started:

1. Set the mood: Creating a relaxing and comfortable atmosphere for you and your partner help to set a mood. You can achieve that by using dimmed lights or candles and playing soft music in the background. 

2. Take your time: This is all about slowing down and savouring every moment. Take your time exploring your partner’s body, paying attention to their reactions, and enjoying every sensation.

3. Communicate: Communication is crucial in sex, especially when you are trying to slow things down. Check-in with your partner frequently and let them know how you’re feeling.

4. Experiment: Slow sex includes different activities, so don’t be afraid to try new things—experiment with exploring erogenous zones, different types of touch, or incorporating sex toys.

5. Practice mindfulness: Slowing down sex is a form of mindfulness where you focus on being fully present in the moment. Concentrate on the sensations you’re experiencing and your connection with your partner rather than on achieving a specific outcome.

Slow sex is a perfect way to prioritize intimacy, pleasure, and connection in your sexual experiences. You can build stronger emotional bonds, experience greater pleasure, and reduce pressure and performance anxiety by slowing down and savouring every moment. 

With time and dedication, this form of intimacy can become a powerful resource for enhancing your sexual experiences.

I wish you all the best.

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