The Complexities of Sexual Arousal: Navigating Arousal Non-Concordance

Welcome to the intriguing world of arousal non-concordance, where the alignment between your physiological and subjective experiences may not always be what you expect.

Sexual arousal is a complex and multifaceted experience that varies from person to person. You might think that when your body shows signs of arousal, like genital lubrication or an erection, it would align with your subjective feelings of desire. However, research has shown that this isn’t always the case. You may experience a phenomenon called arousal non-concordance, where your physiological response doesn’t match your subjective desires, or vice versa.

In this article, I want to talk to you about this concept, what we know about it, and discuss ways of navigating this in your relationship.

Understanding Arousal Non-Concordance: 

Arousal non-concordance refers to a disconnect between your physiological arousal and your subjective sexual desire. It means that you may experience physical signs of arousal without feeling corresponding desire, or you may feel desire without experiencing physiological responses. 

What we know about this phenomenon: 

1. It is more common among women than men. Research suggests that around 50% of women tend to experience significant discordance between their subjective arousal and physiological responses, compared to only 10% of men. 

2. Certain medications or medical conditions can also cause discordance between subjective desire and physiological arousal by interfering with the human sexual response. 

3. Additionally, environmental factors, relationship dynamics, stress levels, or emotional states can impact your subjective feelings of desire. For example, you might be physically turned on, but your body doesn’t respond accordingly due to your emotional state.

Addressing Arousal Non-Concordance: 

Education and Awareness: Both you and your partner should educate yourselves about the concept of arousal non-concordance. Understanding that this phenomenon is common and not necessarily indicative of a problem can alleviate concerns and foster a supportive environment. 

Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques: Engaging in mindfulness exercises can help you become more attuned to your bodily sensations and reduce performance anxiety. This can facilitate a more authentic sexual response. Mindfulness exercises include relaxation techniques like deep breathing or meditation.

Experimentation and Variety: Exploring different sexual activities and techniques can help you understand your sexuality a lot more and potentially lead to experiencing more aligned subjective and physical. By experimenting with new experiences, you can discover what does or does not elicit subjective desire and physiological responses, leading to a better understanding of your unique sexual wiring.

Seeking Professional Help: If your non-concordance experience persists and significantly affects your sexual satisfaction as an individual or as a couple, it may be beneficial to seek help from a sex therapist. There might be underlying issues that need to be addressed, and a professional can support you in understanding them. They can also provide you with personalized strategies, address any underlying concerns, and help facilitate a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Embrace the complexities of your sexual blueprint, communicate openly, and embark on a journey towards a more fulfilling and satisfying sexual connection.

I wish you all the best.

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