When is it Normal to Lose Your Erections During Intercourse?

Men are led to believe that their erection during sexual activity needs to be consistent, and losing an erection indicates Erectile Dysfunction. 

Sometimes, this belief results in men being anxious and confused about one of their normal bodily functions during sexual arousal, called waxing and waning. 

Waxing refers to the gradual increase in sexual arousal, while waning refers to the decrease in sexual arousal. Both are very expected and normal during sexual activities. Some men may find it abnormal or unpleasant when their arousal waxes and wanes a few times during sexual activity. But, knowing that it is expected and normal might reduce anxiety associated with it, because you understand that it can happen at anytime during foreplay and intercourse.

It is very expected for men’s arousal to wax and wane;

–  When they are engaging in extended sexual activity. It is unreasonable to expect an erection to last for an hour nonstop, despite what porn has shown us. Penesis need what we call in sex therapy to “breathe”. This means men lose their erection or their arousal wanes, but the erection will come back shortly after.

–  When they are doing something that does not involve their penis receiving direct sexual stimulation. For example, when men are focusing on their partner’s pleasure (i.e. giving them oral sex), it is common for many men to lose their erections during such activities. 

It is worth communicating openly with your partner about this experience. This can also help them understand what is happening and how they can support you. It allows you to be less anxious when you lose your erection. Because you understand the waxing and waning process and that the erection will return after taking a break. 

Even though waxing and waning during arousal is a normal and natural part of the sexual experience for many men. It is worth speaking with a sex therapist or a health care provider if it is causing significant distress in your life or impacting your sexual experiences. Your healthcare providers can help you to explore and differentiate waxing and waning from Erectile Dysfunction and put your mind at ease. 

I wish you all the best.