When is it Normal to Lose Your Erections During Intercourse?

Men are led to believe that their erection during sexual activity needs to be consistent and losing erection indicates Erectile Dysfunction. Sometimes this belief results in men being anxious and confused about one of their normal bodily functions during sexual arousal called waxing and waning. 

Waxing refers to the gradual increase in sexual arousal, while waning refers to the decrease in sexual arousal. Some men may find that their arousal waxes and wanes a few times during sexual activity. While others may experience a more consistent level of arousal. It is important to know that waxing and waning can happen anytime during foreplay and intercourse.

It is very expected for men’s arousal to wax and wane;

• When they are engaging in extended sexual activity. It is unreasonable to expect an erection to last for an hour, despite what porn has shown us. Penesis need what we call in sex therapy to “breath”. This means men lose their erection or their arousal wane, but the erection will come back shortly after.
• When they are doing something that does not involve their penis receiving direct sexual stimulation. For example, when men are focusing on their partner’s pleasure (i.e. giving them oral sex), it is common for many men to lose their erections during such activities. 

It is worth communicating openly with your partner about this experience. This can help them understand what is happening and how they can support you. It also allows you to be less anxious when you lose your erection. Because you understand the waxing and waning process and that erection will return after taking a break. 

Waxing and waning during arousal is a normal and natural part of the sexual experience for many men. However, it is worth speaking with a sex therapist or a health care provider if it is causing significant distress in your life or impacting your sexual experiences. Your healthcare providers can help you to explore and differentiate waxing and waning from Erectile Dysfunction and put your mind at ease. 

I wish you all the best.