How to Achieve Orgasm During Partnered Sex?

As a sexologist, I understand that achieving orgasm during partnered sex can be complex and multifaceted for some women. Every woman’s experience is unique; what works for one may not work for another. However, some general tips and strategies can help increase your chances of reaching climax with a partner. 

Communication is Key 

I know it becomes a cliche to talk about the importance of communication. However, open and honest communication with your partner is unavoidable for a fulfilling sexual experience. 

It can be a bit intimidating, but don’t be afraid to share your desires and preferences with your partner. It will help your partner to understand what you need to achieve orgasm. Your partner is not a mind reader, so clear communication without judgment and criticism is very helpful.

You can use positive reinforcement to let your partner know when they are doing something that feels good or offer gentle guidance when they are not. For example, you can say, “You know what would make this even better?” and add what you want them to do or do more. 

Focus on Clitoral Stimulation 

The clitoris is the most sensitive part of a woman’s body and is fundamental to achieving orgasm for most women. Contrary to popular belief, the clitoris is a woman’s sex and pleasure organ. So, experiment with different types of touch to find what works best for you. You can try incorporating more manual or oral stimulation into your routine. You can also use sex toys designed for clitoral stimulation, such as vibrators. 

Don’t be afraid to guide your partner’s hand or give them verbal feedback on what feels good. 

Try Different Positions 

Going into specific positions can help you to achieve orgasm a lot easier. Experiment with positions that allow for more clitoral stimulation, such as woman-on-top or doggy-style. In women on top, you can grind your clitoris while having vaginal penetration. Doggy style also allows you to use your hand on your clitoris for additional stimulation. 

Practice Mindfulness and Relaxation Techniques 

This might surprise you, but anxiety and self-consciousness can be major roadblocks to orgasm. Relaxation techniques such as deep breathing help calm your nerves and get out of your head. 

For example, in the woman on top position, you can close your eyes and take a deep breath. This will allow you to bring your attention to your bodily sensations. This can help you focus on your physical experiences instead of being in your head and increase your chances of reaching orgasm. 

Consider Seeing a Sex Therapist 

If you’ve tried these tips and still struggle to orgasm during partnered sex, consider seeing a sex therapist. As a sex therapist, I can help you understand the potential underlying causes of this problem, help you and your partner communicate more effectively, and provide guidance on different techniques and positions. 

It’s Not Just About Orgasm 

Sexual pleasure and intimacy are not solely about achieving orgasm. Don’t put too much pressure on yourself to orgasm every time. Sometimes this pressure, whether partner induced or self-induced, backfires on your ability to climax.

Focus on enjoying the journey, exploring your body, and connecting with your partner. With patience, communication, and experimentation, you’ll likely find what works best for you.

I wish you all the best.