What Are the Characteristics of Couples Who Can Talk About Sex?

For many couples, navigating topics such as finances, in-laws, and parenting choices can often be very challenging, awkward and sometimes painful. Yet, there is the topic that feels like the worst of them all and talking about it feels like walking through a minefield: sex. But why is talking about sex such a big deal? Basically, it comes down to a few things: no one’s ever really taught us how to do it, so we’re kind of clueless. Then, there’s the worry that talking about it might mess things up more than make them better. Plus, there’s a huge taboo hanging over the whole sex talk thing. 

But, despite these barriers, some couples manage to talk about their sexual relationship with as much ease as they do other daily routines. So, what traits do these couples have that enable them to talk about sex so comfortably? 

Mutual Respect

Couples who talk openly about sex show a profound respect for each other’s feelings, boundaries, and desires. This respect fosters a safe environment where both partners feel comfortable being vulnerable and confident that their partner meets their needs, or at least hears them, with empathy and understanding.

Developing Strong Communication Skills

Key to navigating the complexities of sexual intimacy is the development of strong communication skills. Productive communication needs more than just the ability to talk openly; it includes active listening. 

Active listening is a critical component of communication skills that often goes underappreciated. The listener needs to fully concentrate on what the speaker is talking about. Active listening in the context of a relationship means giving your full attention to your partner, understanding their message, and responding thoughtfully. It requires withholding judgment and offering a space where your partner feels heard and understood.


Beyond active listening, empathy is a powerful tool in discussions about sex. Empathy means you can understand and share your partner’s feelings. It does not mean you agree with their position, but you understand where they are coming from. 

Being empathised with can significantly ease the discomfort that often accompanies conversations about sexual needs and desires. When both partners practice empathy, they create a nurturing environment where each individual feels valued and understood, regardless of their vulnerabilities or differences.

Empathy and active listening allow partners to navigate their differences in desires and expectations with care and understanding. It means putting oneself in the other’s shoes and responding with kindness and consideration. This level of communication fosters a deeper connection and mutual understanding, paving the way for a more fulfilling sexual relationship.

Let’s challenge ourselves to break down the barriers, to listen actively, and to respond with empathy. This will pave the way for a future where discussing sex is no longer taboo but a celebrated aspect of our shared humanity.

Please feel free to contact me, sex therapy or relationship counselling can assist you in developing these skills. 

I wish you all the best.

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