The Double-Edged Sword of Baby-Making Sex
The pursuit of creating a new life can often become a paradoxical journey for many couples. Trying to have a baby is fundamentally a testament to the deep intimacy shared between two people. However, the baby-making sex, if couples do not conceive within a few months, can occasionally morph into something that feels more clinical than romantic. In this blog post, I aim to shed light on this phenomenon and suggest a few strategies to maintain the delicate balance between procreation and intimacy.
When sex becomes linked primarily to the pursuit of conception, it often takes on an air of duty and regimentation. Timed intercourse, monitoring ovulation cycles, and a laser-like focus on fertility can gradually strip away the spontaneity and even pleasure. This, over time, turns a once passion-filled experience into a planned event that feels more clinical than intimate.
Sex is more than just a procreational act. It’s a celebration of intimacy, a manifestation of love, and a source of pleasure. When the pressure to conceive overshadows these elements, sex can become more of a chore than a delight. The emotional and physical stress of repeated unsuccessful attempts can further erode intimacy, sometimes leading to resentment or feelings of inadequacy.
To counter the effects of procreation sex;
1. Couples might need to provide some space for recreational or non-procreational sex. Engaging in intimate sex solely for pleasure and connection can help maintain the bond of intimacy. They can achieve that by setting aside specific times for sex that are not connected to ovulation cycles or baby-making.
2. Mindfulness-based sexual experiences are another effective way to navigate this tricky terrain. It encourages couples to be fully present during sex, focusing on the sensations and emotions in the moment rather than being preoccupied with future-oriented goals.
3. Incorporating non-sexual physical touch in their day-to-day life can help in maintaining emotional bonds. Long hugs, cuddles, hand-holding and minimum 6-second kisses all convey a sense of affection and closeness that can supplement a couple’s sexual relationship, particularly during periods of stress or disappointment.
4. Communication is another essential element. Discuss your feelings and concerns openly, reassuring each other that the journey to parenthood is shared. Remember, you’re a team, and supporting each other emotionally is extremely important, especially when trying to conceive.
The path to parenthood can be an exciting yet challenging journey for some couples. Remember, the key is to balance the desire for procreation with the need for intimacy. By focusing on maintaining a satisfying and fun sexual relationship outside of baby-making sex, couples can enjoy a healthier, happier, and more intimate relationship during this significant life stage and beyond.
I wish you all the best.