What is the Gottman Method of Couple Therapy?

The Gottman Method of couple therapy is a scientifically proven approach to relationship therapy. This method was developed by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, and is based on over 40 years of research on what makes relationships succeed or fail. The Gottman Method helps couples improve their communication, intimacy, and conflict resolution skills and to build a stronger, more satisfying relationship.

One of the key components of the Gottman Method is the assessment process. During this process, the therapist will gather information about the couple’s history, strengths, and challenges. Based on this information, the therapist creates a tailored treatment plan that addresses the particular needs of each couple.

The Gottman Method also emphasizes the importance of communication in relationships. The Gottman Institute train therapists to identify the areas of vulnerability in the couple’s communication style. After that, they can support the couples in learning better, more effective communication methods. In the process of improving communication, the couples also learn to listen actively and respond more empathically to each other.

“The Gottman Method of Couple Therapy creates a feeling of working together as a team.”

Another important aspect of the Gottman Method is the emphasis on intimacy. The therapist will help couples create a deeper emotional connection. They achieve that by teaching them how to express their love and affection in meaningful ways to their partner. This may include learning to give and receive compliments, express appreciation, and share personal thoughts and feelings.

Conflict resolution is also a key component of the Gottman Method. The therapist will help couples identify how their conversations escalate into arguments or fights. Then, s/he supports them to learn new ways of managing conflicts which are healthier and more constructive. This may include learning how to identify and express underlying needs and feelings. In addition, the couples learn to negotiate and compromise and use “repair attempts” to de-escalate arguments or reconnect in the aftermath of a fight. 

What I love about the Gottman method is that it helps couples view their relationship through the same lens as the therapist’s. The couples will be able to see the areas of strength and vulnerability in the relationship and understand why their dynamic is the way it is. This method of relationship therapy also helps couples take home the skills they are learning during the sessions and practice them in between sessions and reinforce their progress. 

With the right guidance and support, couples can learn how to build a healthy and loving relationship that will last a lifetime.

I wish you all the best.